If your child shows signs of anxiety, you are not alone. In my work with hundreds of children each year through outdoor learning and forest school sessions at Ambleford, I’ve seen how common anxiety is among children of all ages. Sometimes it shows up quietly—in a child who clings to the edges of a group or activity—or more visibly, in tears and refusals to leave a parent. Either way, anxiety can be a real barrier to enjoyment, learning, and confidence.
This isn’t just anecdotal. According to NHS Digital, one in six children aged 5 to 16 had a probable mental health disorder in 2020, with anxiety among the most prevalent conditions. That’s a lot of children—and a lot of parents trying their best to support them.
Understanding Childhood Anxiety
Anxiety is a normal part of life and a natural response to stress or danger—in fact, I believe that it’s important for children to feel and overcome anxiety on a regular basis. It’s part of how they learn resilience and figure out what they’re capable of. As parents, it is our job to allow that natural process to happen rather than shelter them from it. But when anxiety starts to interfere with your child’s everyday life, it may be a sign of an anxiety disorder. I’ve seen it show up in all sorts of ways:
- Excessive worry about school, social situations, or safety
- Physical symptoms such as headaches or stomach aches
- Difficulty sleeping or changes in appetite
- Avoidance of certain activities or places
- Irritability or clinginess
Sometimes it’s a child who freezes at the thought of joining a game because they’re scared of getting it wrong. Other times, it’s a little one who needs the loo three times in an hour, just to get a break from a situation that feels too big.
Potential Causes of Anxiety in Children
I’m no expert, but from what I’ve seen and learned over the years, there’s rarely just one reason a child feels anxious. Usually, it’s a bit of a cocktail:
- Genetics: A family history of anxiety or mental health issues
- Environment: Stressful life events like divorce, illness, or bullying. This is also increasing evidence that technology use plays a factor (I have another article on this).
- Personality: Some children are simply wired to feel things more deeply
- Parenting style: Even with the best intentions, we can accidentally overprotect or overpressure
- Exposure to adult anxieties: Kids are brilliant at picking up what we’re putting down—even when we think we’re hiding it well
In my experience, it’s often a mix of a naturally sensitive child and a world that moves a bit too fast and loud for them.
What Parents Can Do to Help
While anxiety can feel overwhelming (for you and for them), there are lots of things that can help. These are some strategies I’ve seen work wonders:
1. Stay Calm and Reassuring
Children take their cues from us. If we look panicked, they assume there’s a real reason to be afraid. I’ve seen anxious children relax just from having a calm adult nearby who lets them know, through their tone and body language, that everything’s okay.
2. Avoid Reinforcing the Fear
It’s natural to want to ask, “Are you scared about school today?” but it can make things worse. Try instead: “How are you feeling about today?” or “What do you think might happen?” A simple reframe, but it opens the door to conversation rather than reinforcing worry.
3. Encourage Facing Fears Gradually
Avoiding fears might feel better in the short term, but it usually makes anxiety worse down the line. Help your child tackle tricky situations in small steps. We often let kids watch an activity before joining in, and nine times out of ten, they end up giving it a go when they’re ready.
4. Create a Predictable Routine
Anxious kids thrive on knowing what’s coming next. Regular routines—for meals, bedtimes, and school mornings—can make the world feel less chaotic. Even our forest school sessions (as wild as they may seem!) follow a familiar rhythm, and the children take great comfort in knowing what to expect.
5. Listen Without Judgement
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just be there and really listen. Let them talk without jumping in to fix it or tell them not to worry. I’ve sat with many a worried child and said, “That sounds tough. I’m really glad you told me.” And honestly, you’d be amazed what just being heard can do.
6. Limit Anxiety Triggers
Think about what might be fuelling their stress. Too much news? Overscheduled days? Too much screen time? Try swapping in quiet time, nature walks, creative play—anything that helps them decompress. I’m always amazed by the calming effect a bit of mud and fresh air can have. It’s not magic, but it’s pretty close.
7. Avoid Passing on Your Own Anxieties
This one’s tricky. We all worry, especially when it comes to our children. But it helps to check ourselves before saying things like, “I hated maths at school too,” or “I always worry about meeting new people.” We don’t have to be perfect—just mindful of what we’re passing on.
8. Seek Professional Help When Needed
If anxiety is seriously affecting your child’s life, don’t be afraid to reach out. Your GP, school mental health team, or a child psychologist can offer support. You’re not failing—you’re advocating, and that’s one of the strongest things a parent can do.
You’re Not Alone
Parenting an anxious child can feel like walking a tightrope in a fog. But you’re not on your own. Talk to other parents, join support groups, and lean on professionals when needed.
Most importantly, remember: anxiety doesn’t define your child. With your love and support, they can build the tools to navigate life with confidence. At Ambleford, we are not the solution but can be an important part of it. I’ve seen kids go from hiding behind their parent’s leg to leading the way through the woods, marshmallow stick in hand and a big grin on their face. It takes time—but it happens. And it’s absolutely beautiful to watch.
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