In recent years, growing awareness around Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) has begun to challenge mainstream assumptions about autism, behaviour, and education. As a specialist tutor of children who present with PDA profiles, I see time and again how traditional models of schooling – with their emphasis on routine, compliance, and externally imposed structure – inadvertently escalate distress and resistance in these children. The good news? There is a better way.
What is PDA?
PDA is a profile within the autism spectrum characterised by an extreme avoidance of everyday demands, driven not by defiance but by anxiety. It was first described by developmental psychologist Professor Elizabeth Newson, and is increasingly recognised thanks to the work of organisations like the PDA Society and the National Autistic Society.
Children with PDA are often highly articulate, socially curious, and imaginative – but they respond to even the most benign requests (e.g., “put on your shoes”) with avoidance strategies that can look like defiance, manipulation, or even aggression. This response is not about choosing not to comply – it is a neurological safety response to perceived loss of autonomy. As Dr. Ross Greene puts it, “kids do well if they can.” When they can’t, it’s our job to ask why, not to push harder.
The cost of misunderstanding
Mainstream education systems, however well-meaning, often misinterpret the behaviour of children with PDA. The dominant behavioural narrative – reward charts, sanctions, and escalating interventions – only increases anxiety and resistance. Over time, children internalise the idea that they are ‘naughty’ or ‘bad’, when in reality, they are dysregulated and overwhelmed.
We’ve seen families driven to the brink, children excluded or placed in PRUs, and a generation of misunderstood young people becoming increasingly alienated from education.
Our approach: low demand, high trust
At Ambleford, we have developed a responsive, outdoor-based tutoring that supports children with PDA profiles to re-engage with learning. Our philosophy is simple: reduce pressure, build trust, and follow the child’s lead.
What does this look like in practice?
- Non-directive environments: We avoid giving direct instructions where possible, offering choices and inviting participation instead.
- Relationship-first education: We prioritise connection, empathy, and co-regulation over curriculum targets.
- Respecting autonomy: Children are involved in setting the pace and shape of their day. This fosters a sense of safety and agency.
- Nature as co-regulator: Our outdoor setting reduces sensory overwhelm and promotes wellbeing.
We’ve seen children who were previously labelled “unreachable” begin to re-engage, take risks, and even initiate learning – not because they were forced to, but because they felt safe enough to try.
It’s not ‘soft’ – it’s strategic
Supporting a PDA profile doesn’t mean abandoning expectations – it means reframing them. It requires skill, consistency, and an ability to observe and adapt moment to moment. It is not about indulging avoidance – it is about understanding its cause and helping children find new pathways through anxiety.
PDA is not a behaviour problem. It is a relational and neurological one – and it demands a relational and neurodiversity-informed response.
A call to rethink
The education sector is overdue a reckoning with the limits of behaviourist models for neurodivergent children. PDA challenges us to move beyond compliance and toward connection. It asks us to be flexible, humble, and curious.
And most importantly, it asks us to believe that all children can thrive – when the environment fits the child, not the other way around.
If your setting is struggling to support a child with a PDA profile – or if you are a parent feeling at a loss – know that you are not alone. There are approaches that work. And there is growing expertise out here, in the margins, where some of the most exciting and humane education is happening.